I don’t really dig fight games and so I try to find the most direct approach to winning. In UFC Undisputed 2010, I found that the head is a pulpy melon ripe for pounding someone into submission and so, that’s all I needed to do to start knocking out opponents in under two minutes. I am a button mashing champion, on Beginner. I managed an eight match ladder in the matter of only a half hour, much of that time was taken waiting for the game to load the next match.

In the fifth match of the eight I came up against a grappler and yet through pure button mashing was able to clean his clock in under three minutes. Then in the sixth round I lost because I didn’t know how to get out of a grapple. So I read up on how to do a Major Transition (which gets a guy off of you) and went back to it. I don’t like games that require me to have a book open so that I can reference moves. But learning that one thing was enough for me to fight off Rashad Evans in our rematch.

After that I thought I would try to shoot for a takedown in the next match. I wasn’t really at all familiar with my fighter, not being a UFC or MMA fan of any kind. Well I succeeded in taking him down but then lost the match for some unknown reason. The game said the opponent won by submission, so that required me to learn defense against that. I don’t know that I ever got a chance to use it before I crushed that guys melon.

For the Championship match, Bruce Buffer came out to do introductions and when he said "IIIIIT’S TIME!" I thought ’what the hell?’ So I skipped over the rest of his nonsense. Then knocked out the champ in under three minutes. Again through button mashing. So then I was the Light Heavyweight Champ. Yay me! This also unlocked Title Defense mode and awarded me 500 shop points.

That got me curious so I started hunting around for the shop, there’s absolutely no mention of it in the very slight manual which is 60% moves, 20% game info and 40% non-game info. It turns out the shop is in the Game Progress menu and lets you buy things like t-shirts, nicknames for create a fighter mode, fighter animations, hoodies, pants and more. So really it’s like Dress Up Barbie with big beefy dudes. Sort of strange.