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Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers Review (Wii)

Posted by Jim Cook, 276 days ago
  Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers
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Worse, the game engine has a lot of problems that the older Xbox 360 game did. You still can’t jump over even tiny obstacles, and somehow the hit detection got worse; I’ve had sword slashes go right through enemies and do nothing to them. Combined with all the other problems, I honestly had trouble even wanting to play this game. It may be very in-depth, fast-paced zombie slaying, but it’s uncomfortable and has needless bugs.

Ultimately, everything else is irrelevant. This game is priced at an affordable $30 and gives you plenty to do, but you simply won’t want to bother. The most important part of a game is being able to play it, and forcing players to use constant arm-waggle controls with a questionable button layout makes it hard to recommend. I’d much sooner suggest you check out this game’s Xbox 360 prequel, “Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad”, as it’s a proper example of the genre that started with Double Dragon and Final Fight, and has evolved into today’s Dynasty Warriors.

 Our Rating for Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers Review (Wii)
6.0
Replay
Like most modern brawlers, this one has a lot of hidden things to unlock.
4.5
Graphics
Xbox 360 launch title era graphics get downscaled for the Wii, and it doesn’t look very good.
6.0
Sound
Decent Japanese voice acting and good sound effects, and slightly better music than the Xbox 360 prequel.
3.5
Gameplay
There’s a really deep combat system here, but it’s hard to use with the poorly arranged controls and constant arm-wagging.
3.0
Multiplayer
No online play, and co-op at 480p resolution isn’t going to be easy to cope with.
2.0
Overall
Forget the low cost. The controls are completely unsuited to this type of game, and it will hurt.
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  #1 Mar 3, 2009 16:20:48 268 days ago

Voiceofreason
1 Comments

Worst review ever and couldnt have been more wrong. Proof can be seen at Metacritic.com. Wii version is rated a 57 while the completelt garbage 360 version is 39. It’s easy to see this is a hate reveiw and not a real review with any kind of cred.  Controls are completely wrecked? Never saw that in any other review from real journalists. Co-op is hard to cope with because of 480p? Really this must be your first gen of gaming then because until this gen we werent even gaming at 480p, but now we are supose to think it hurts? Pathetic.

Anyway dont listen to this guy and hey dont take my word for it. Go get some real reveiws from real gaming sites with real educated journalists that get paid to review games based on the console they are and not based off of their personal bias.

 

Thanks to this review I am buying the game on Wii. Just to know for sure that this review is a complete joke.


  #2 Mar 3, 2009 17:16:24 268 days ago

Jim Cook
13 Comments

Can you elaborate on the ’hate review’ part? Do you think this is a Wii-bashing review? That seems to be the obvious conclusion, and it would be untrue. Check my article history, you’ll see I’ve reviewed Sam & Max: Season One for the Wii and thought it was great, giving it an 8.0. I also run quite a bit of homebrew on my Wii (and have been asked to consider some articles looking at this), plus have a decent library including games like Guilty Gear XX Accent Core, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, Resident Evil 4, Super Mario Galaxy, and so on. Nor is this my first gaming generation; I actually got my start in MS-DOS, the Atari 2600, and the NES. I remember editing autoexec.bat and config.sys files to get enough conventional memory freed up for Wing Commander 2 on DOS, discovering that the first boss in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES) could be beaten by Donatello’s crouch attack at no risk to yourself, and even played Warlords on an Atari 2600 paddle.

 

But I find it silly you say Metacritic is the reason I’m wrong. If all gaming reviewers are supposed to be in agreement, then you may as well see if we can get the Borg hivemind to do reviews and trim a lot of middlemen out of the industry. It’s worth pointing out that not all sites use the 0-10 scale the same way. I saw a Gamespot review for some Tiger Woods game a while back, complaining of reproducible showstopping bugs. It got a 6.5 accompanied by negative review text. That would have been more like a 4.0 or below (probably lower) in my book. So Metacritic’s averages mean very little to me.

 

I do play the games I review, and I play them thoroughly. I don’t have a hate-on for the Wii as a piece of technology, I just felt the Wii’s technologies weren’t suited to this game and I really did like the 360 version more. If that’s an inversion of popular opinion, so be it. I offer a different opinion, not an insincere one.

 

That said, I’m pleased my article influenced your purchasing decision. Sure, you’re acting contrary to my advice, but I still had some significant effect on you. I’m pretty sure that means I’m doing that part of the job right; I am engaging the reader and making them think and react. That’s good.


  #3 Mar 3, 2009 18:03:30 268 days ago

SuperGuido
36 Comments

At Metacritic, that 57 is partly because:

Gamespot 30 - Onechanbara makes zombie-slaying women boring.

Games Radar 30 - the motion controls utterly wreck what should just be mindless zombie-goring fun. (look they say the controls are bad!)

Gametrailers 46 - and gameplay that will literally leave you sore (also about the controls)

I think that I have sufficiently proven that you did not bother to read and are simply a rabid fan or perhaps a developer...whoever you are, you most certainly are not the voice of reason.


 
 
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