Portal 2 Delayed Until 2011

Valve, in a campy sort of press release, today announced that Portal 2 will be delayed until 2011. Citing public safety and the end of all life on Earth, a thin veil for saying the game just isn’t ready to even be considered for release, they and the fictional Aperture Labs apparently only have our best interests in mind. Considering that our best interests are to have the finest Portal sequel possible, I welcome the delay.

Here’s the text of their press release for your perusal:

Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.

Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won’t instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.

"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.